Chavez “Venezuela to Hold Breath to Curb Carbon Emissions”

Chavez Links Global Warming to Current Problems

In the wake of his announcement to personally save the world from global warming caused by the devil (referring to President George W. Bush), President Hugo Chavez on Sunday said that all of Venezuela will hold their breath on Thursday preventing approximately 5 million tons of carbon to enter the atmosphere.

We have many things to report,” he said, and kept listeners’ attention with a dramatic announcement. “I call on the whole country: ‘Hold Your Breath.’ As a result of U.S. caused global warming, We are facing the worst drought Venezuela has had in almost 100 years.”

Critics Believe Ploy to Claim Carbon Credits Worth Millions

Critics of Chavez point out that this may be just a gimmick so that Chavez can claim hundreds of millions of dollars in carbon credits related to the prevention of carbon emissions. Additionally, Critics claim that the lack of water in Venezuala is primarily due to the mismanagement of resources by the government.

National Guard to Enforce No Breathing on Thursday

Speaking on his weekly television program, “Alo Presidente,” Chavez railed against those who openly refuse to stop breathing. “I want the national guard in the streets, with the people, to prevent breathing,” Chavez said, calling exhaling carbon dioxide a form of robbery.

According to the EPA, each human exhales 2.3 lbs of carbon each day through breathing.

Chavez showed a photograph in a newspaper of breathers in long lines over the weekend to buy coffins, fearing that inability to breathe could cause death. The president blamed such lines on “teleterror,” saying that opposition media outlets were fueling a panic.

“For one day, there is absolutely no reason for anyone to exhale carbon dioxide,” Chavez said.

Chavez May Expropriate Businesses That Resist

He encouraged people to publicly denounce relatives who breathe freely and threatened to expropriate businesses and foreigners who demand to breathe.

The government would transfer ownership of such businesses to the workers, Chavez said.
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Posted by admin on Feb 10 2010. Filed under Foreign Policy, Global Warming. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry